facial hair

Ok, so as of late I have witnessed such a plethora of different styles of facial hair, that its made me sit down and think what a boisterous statement of style they are. I mean the handle bar mustache says “please direct your attention this way.” Its polite and sophisticated, but you have no choice but to take notice. These mustaches often adorn the faces of men with similar personalities. They use few words, but they are always polite and in line with propriety. You usually want to hear what they have to say, whenever they say it.
Then there are the crazy bushy mustaches that look like some unruly version of a chia pet. These are brash and sometimes even dirty looking; like they have a case of bed head (which they probably do). The owners of these mustaches are normally too busy, or unconcerned with the shape of their lip mane to care, they are more worried with other tasks; i.e. eating something with cheese and grease, and washing it down with beer, only to leave bits and pieces of their repast lodged within the mustache for some unknown later time.
Then there are the carefully groomed square ones, also known as, the fu manchu. These are squared off and bold. They remind me of the stance of a bulldog. They are mean, angry and tough. Go ahead and wikipedia fu manchu and read the list of people who are known for this style of mustache… you will notice that they are all pretty much bad asses. I think there is one person listed that is a harpist or flautist or something. Other than that one, they are all characters you don’t want to tangle with.
Then comes the little pencil mustaches. They are delicate and barely noticeable. But their slight presence makes you double take. Is it there? Or is it a shadow? Maybe a discoloration? I must know or I’ll just die! The wearers of these are normally a breed you don’t run into every day. But they are interesting enigmas that you must unwrap. You desire to understand them.
Then there is the female mustache. This you are unable to turn from. You are staring directly at a mustache on a woman and you think… what are you doing? Just clip that off already. But women who adorn these normally don’t give two shits what your opinion is of them. So best not to stare or make a fuss. So these are just a few that I’ve noticed, but you know that the list can go further. So wear those whiskers proudly boys (and don’t give a shit menopausers), for we see what you have done, and it inspires us!

Published in: on April 1, 2010 at 9:39 pm  Leave a Comment  

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