As some of you may know, I work in a coffee shop connected to a Metra train station. The two companies have nothing to do with the other except for our location. Every day someone enters our quaint little coffee shop to ask us a question related to the general area. I’ve decided to post a little FAQ section for the confused Metra travelers so they may expedite their journey.

  • Where do I pay for parking?
    Walk along the train platform, past the metal box with the numbered slots until you reach a gravel pathway.  Continue on until you hear running water.  Don’t be alarmed, this is the sewage run-off, if you smell or hear it you are on the right track.  You will come to a bridge protected by a troll.  He will leap onto the creaky wooden foot bridge and declare, “Answer me these questions three…”  Once you complete this series of questions you may cross the bridge into the tall grassy meadow.  Walk northeast 50 paces and dig into the soft spot.  You will find a small wooden chest containing the number of the parking spot you left your car at.  Deposit your tokens inside and return to the train platform to await your train.
  • Where do I catch a cab?
    Cabs are normally not available in the northwest suburbs.  Occasionally they wait outside near the bar in the taxi loading zone, but your best bet is going to be flagging down a camel located at the top-level of the parking garage.  Note: Camel drivers do not take credit cards, they only accept sea shells and spices from the East.
  • Are the Pace buses still running?
    Sorry we only have Metra information on hand…I’m still not really sure Pace runs.
  • Do you have a train schedule?
    No.  But the schedule  is based on the Mayan calendar and the waxing and waning patterns of the moon.  Use that info to figure it out
  • Which side of the platform do I stand on?
    This is so great!  This is one of those Harry Potter coincidences where you board on the invisible platform located between the visible ones.  Stand in the middle facing southwest, turn counter-clockwise 4 and 1/3 times before leaping forward onto the jacked up stairs.  Walk three flights and then take an immediate left (stairway pictured below).  This is your platform.

Well that wraps it up, travel safely dear commuters of the Palatine train station!

Published in: on November 30, 2010 at 12:09 am  Comments (2)  
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2 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. cool

  2. sign me up

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