Slow your Roll

I just sat down and painted my toenails with two coats.  This is a miracle people.  In my world this is the equivalent of hell freezing over.  While I was painting the second coat I noticed that I still had time to moisturize my feet and hands and put on my fluffy pink sandals to allow them to air-dry.  This is quite the opposite from the shotty paint job that happened the last time.  I was dancing around my room trying on clothes and slathering on pink polish (most of it landing on my toe instead of the actual nail bed) as I ran out the door to get to work.

I had 4 jobs, trying to juggle these responsibilities and still maintain regular bodily functions like sleeping, eating, shitting, washing, etc. was difficult.  Sleep was the first one to go, then grooming took a backseat; it was rare to see me with mascara or hair blown dry.  By the end of the first week, I was a tired, cranky, mess.

After some prioritizing and re-evaluation of my wants and needs I decided to cut one job loose and cut back on my hours.  This would seemingly present immediate relief, but I was unable to change my set ways.  I called my mother during a day when I had 4 hours to spare, and nothing to do.  I was a wreck, “I should work on this project, or run these six errands, or take all my winter dry cleaning in, or redefine my budget,” I said scrambling to create a to-do list.  “Just slow down, and relax, you don’t have to do anything,” my mother reminded me.  I hung up the phone and looked at my naked toenails.  I ended up doing two loads of laundry and making a soup from a cook book I had bought.  Still couldn’t shake the idea of being idle.

I know I am not the only one who struggles with this.  We live in a world that prides itself on speed and efficiency.  We are excited by setting records in speed, and multitasking.  Time is money in the world we live in.  We will never remember speed though.  The things that stay with us, were earned and grandfathered in.  I’m glad that I was able to go to the drive thru for lunch so that I could also have time to run to the bank on my break, but that will never compare to my grandmothers pot roast that took hours to prepare.  If given the choice it would be an easy decision.

Tonight when I got home, I had a million ideas of how I could fill social obligations, but my toenails just stared at me.  I went to the store to buy some cotton balls and nail polish remover and got to work.  Turned on a cd that a friend made me a long time ago, and started removing the old chipped polish.

Here I am 30 minutes later with nothing to do but sit and listen to the music.  I should have done this a long time ago, and allowed things to just happen instead of packing my planner full.  I’ve touched on this before, patience is a virtue.  This is a virtue I’m still trying to get a grasp of, but now while I’m reaching for it, my nails will be manicured and I’ll have a soundtrack to my life.

 

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Published in: on June 10, 2011 at 9:45 pm  Leave a Comment  

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